When Anna Sadlier, Charges and Revenue Lead, 41, was asked why she emigrated from Dublin to Brighton in 2011, she used to say she needed to “find herself and go on an adventure.” What she really meant though was she needed “to come out”. Here’s Anna’s story.
“Don’t get me wrong, I had a great life in Dublin. But I was secretly consumed with pain from the anger I directed at myself and from deep loneliness.
I didn’t want to be gay. I didn’t want to discuss it. It wasn’t part of my plan. I grew up with zero representation and didn’t know of any openly gay people, let alone any positive communication or celebration of the LGBTQ+ community. It took me a long time to acknowledge and understand my sexuality, never mind trying to accept and embrace it.
I told no-one about my confusion and fear for the longest time. I was too ashamed that I couldn’t cope, and truly disgusted at myself for not having all the answers and solutions. On the outside though, everything looked fine. Nobody could see I was struggling and that made it an excruciatingly lonely place to be.
Luckily, at age 28, alopecia left me mostly bald from the stress. I say ‘luckily’ because It was when I lost my hair that I realised my physical health was being badly affected and that things would only get worse if I didn’t do something about my stress levels and inner turmoil. I’d already lost my tonsils to chronic throat infections a few years earlier. No surprises as to why. The hair loss was the scare I needed.
I began speaking openly to my family, who are also my best friends, and to a handful of trusted friends, about my confusion. I also went to counselling for a year, which enabled me to unravel the toxic pattern of thoughts I’d been entrenched in for over a decade.
It’s now with great joy I openly and proudly announce I’m gay. I’ve been very happily married for nearly six years to my incredible wife, Laura. We live in domestic chaotic bliss with our two little boys beside the sea.
During my nine years at Southern Water the colleagues I have worked with over the years, at every level of the organisation, have always been supportive and positive about me and my family.
And when anyone asks me why I moved over to Brighton, I smile and say: ‘To find a wife and live happily ever after’. Mission accomplished. Oh, and I have loads of hair again.”